Mixed feelings about that to be honest. I made the decision back in winter this past year. First I'll list two things that didn't sound so good to me about Bible school. 1. I would be surrounded by Christians. It kind of sounds weird at first, but the reality is that God has given me a passion and a love for unbelievers, people who haven't grown up in the Church. I get energized by building purposeful relationships with those type of people. Bible school.....I doubt that I'm going to find much of those type on campus. 2. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go into the "ministry," as some would call it....I'm still not sure! I'm not sure that God has called me to work as a "professional" Christian. I just want to love Jesus and love others wherever I am. I feel like there is so much more power in that in the lives of un-believers. I'm not sure I want the stereotype that goes with pastors, youth pastors, Bible teachers....Bible school students.
You can probably tell from the previous paragraph that I still feel pretty strongly about those two points....reasons I didn't want to go to Bible school. But I'm going.....what's up with that? Basically, I want to know God more. I want to know more about Him so that I can know Him deeper relationally. I believe that the Bible is God's Word. I believe that by knowing it, I can know Him. Now, I understand that one can know the Bible and not know God. The pharisees did this (John 5:39-40). But I do believe that one can't really know God well without knowing the Bible. Some have told me, "Jordan, you already know the Bible, bro." Yeah, I've studied God's Word for a bit. I have some verses memorized. But there is so much I don't know. I don't know how the Old Testament and New Testament really mesh. I don't really know how to connect Old Testament teaching to today. I mean, I probably could come up for some things and teach them to people....but would I handle the Word of God correctly (2 Timothy 2:15)??? I have asked questions to so many, and more often than not I receive answers that just don't make sense or satisfy me. I want to know the truth of God's Word. I believe that it can hold up to the scrutiny. I have so many questions....and I don't know where to go to get them answered. Let me clarify one thing. I don't believe that all of my questions will be answered by going to Bible school. I believe some will but not all. Some graduates of Bible school have told me in fact that I'll probably have more when I leave! What I want to do is learn how to study the Bible. I want to learn how to hand it correctly. I want to love it. I want to know it. I want to be able to share it with others with integrity and honestly. Through all of that, I just want to know God more. If I truly believe that the Bible is God's Word and that it can change lives, then my logical course would be to study it more. Which of course brings up the question, "Jordan, you can study it on your own, bro. There are books and stuff that can help you." Yup. I know there are. But I guess it just comes down to what God has called me to do right now. No other door was opened like the one to Columbia International University has. No other road has given me more peace. I know it is where God has me....studying his Word in depth. Growing in my knowledge of His Word so that I can grow in my relationship with Him. Maybe things will change. Maybe God will lead me elsewhere in the future. Who knows, but Him. But for now, I know this is where He has me....a Bible college student. As long as I continue to seek Him and be willing to do and go wherever He leads, it'll all work out.
If anyone has any questions or anything or thoughts, don't be afraid to throw them my way via message or email. God bless
JZ
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